bababouddhiste

Happy new year!!!

2006-01-01T23:06:48Z

Happy new year everyone hope you were all safe and partied hard.

~Nate

How ya'll doing?

2005-11-30T02:52:26Z

Hey yea'll how's it going?

...

2005-08-23T16:58:49Z

(this is a cont. of my last post read it first)

What am I suppolsed to do I feel that there should be something that I could say to just make it all better, but I don't know what it is.I know she says that there is nothing I can do to fix this but I mean there has to be. There has to be...

The odd thing is that awhile ago I was counceling my friend at school when this happened to him. I said all the "guy" things, including "theres many fish in the sea". But screw that, right now I want MY fish. I wish we could talk and work things out. But the majority of the advise that I'm getting is "leave it some space" and if I do that I feel that I can't correct whatever I did wrong, I feel like I'm walking away when I should stay and fight.

Why does this have to be so fucking hard.

The Wheel of Change

2005-08-23T06:44:48Z

It's amazing how a few couple words can make such a big difference in how you feel day to day. It's also amazing how the absence of of such a little thing, or just one person, can have such and great impact upon our bodies. Right now even thought I may be fooling my mind that im getting over it my body tells me otherwise. I feel as if an important part of my body has gone missing like someone might when you need just that little bit of air to get things done but something seems to steal your breath away at the last moment, I also feel hungry even though I had just eaten.

I feel... yea I do feel, right now im telling myself not to bottle up my emotions like my instincts tell me. The world seems to be flipped upside down and turned around.

It's funny how you may have just a few things planed out and when a wrench finds it's way into your gears it seems your world stops and now you have to figure how to get it running again wihout interupting any other parts of what may just seem to be day to day life.

The sad part is that I can't tell anyone whats wrong or atleast, anyone who would care for my honesty.

Ok... honestly,would you like to know whats bothering me?

My girlfriend broke up with me.

Wow at the moment thoes where that hardest words to type and that breath of air I still can't seem to get it, my only solace is that eventually it will stop hurting and I can start reparing the friendship.

The weird part is even thought I knew that It probably wouldn't end up lasting for years and I knew the end was out there somewhere I wish it wern't Here Now. Just maby 2 months from now, not when I was going to try to make things right again. Or seemingly "normal".

Thank you for thoes 5 months I only wish that you'd of waited alittle, I know you'd thought about it for a long time but I wish you'd of talked to me, like one of the first things you said to me when we started going out "You have to talk to me" Which I translated as "You have to talk to me when things are wrong." You didn't really do that, although infact neither did I there was so much I wanted to say but I didn't for fear of this. Maby I should have.

Yea, thats right no way am I going to let someone that I've known for so long and cared for so much just slip out of my fingers and off into the void of stories that I am to tell my future children or a statistic that I tell my friends

"oh yea , you know i've had ___ girlfriends but they don't matter to me anymore"

Pfft... if you don't know me you might think I might say that. But if you do know me well enough you'd know that the 2 girlfriends that I've had in the past I'm still decent friends with... at least I hope I still am...Hailey... Ave... I've gone out with both of you and were still friends for the most part I only hope that my most recent break up will turn out as well as thoes did in the long run.

Part of my wants her to read this and take me back, to say "I'm sorry I made a mistake" but you know I don't want to be taken back because of pity I would rather be taken back because that's what would make you happy. But you know what if we don't end up going out again I think I'll be fine. Eventually.

Time is the cure for superficial ailments weither that be your Gf/Bf broke up with you or something of a more serious matter.

But really "All you need is love". Love seems to be the true cure for things like this

And once again forgive me for what I did 2 springs ago that was a jerkish thing to do... ( If this has any bearing to you you'd know it)

And while I'm at it I'm sorry for EVERY one that I've hurt in someway or another.

So to all thoes who read this, and that may not very many because most of you think I stoped posting in this along time ago, I thank you.

Oh and by the way if you are reading this ( as in the the X gf ) you still owe me a movie and I entend to call that in one of these days. It probably won't be soon but be prepaired.

Gasho,
Nate

bababouddhiste @ 2005-06-12T21:47:00

2005-06-13T04:48:46Z

FUCK FINALS

Les Secrets

2005-03-22T07:09:59Z

Voudrais oreille utilise seulement

Etre tour eglise sample

Tout oeil uniforme joyeux oignon usage rouge

joie ouvert lourd imposteur enchanteur

La bell

2005-03-22T06:47:52Z

Elle ma dit que je doivais fair sa, "live Journal" et donc metanant je la fais. Je voudrais dire bonjour as tout mes amis especailment "elle". lol

as plutot

~Aurélian Demi
aka nate

Definitions of "Nate"

2005-02-27T21:53:16Z

Lol at Urbandictionary.com my name "nate has about a thousand (not really) definitions and I thought I'd share some with you that were on target a little...

A great guy who is amazingly wonderful, and funny, and sad, and should be less sad, but then is in love, which is funny... and makes him less sad, sortof.
(oddly accurate in some ways)

Nate is the studly pimp master of pimpdome.
(funny)

White guy from suburbs who flips up his collar and punches holes in the wall.
(done all of thoes things)

Well there you go that's me.... lol not really but hey it's kinda cool

Oh and by the way the reserch paper of doom is almost done *YAY*

Being sick sucks

2005-02-25T23:47:10Z

Except for the staying home from school part.

Hopefully I'll get better by the weekend stuff to do man.

Sorry for the short update.

keep in touch
~nate

Nous allons voir...

2005-02-21T23:32:51Z

What's your favorite time of day?
Mines just after I wake up and I don't remember any of the events of the past day, it's a thing of beauty no regrets, no expectations, no pressing matters just, nothing....

I wish I were braver there are all these things I would like to do/say but I tend to go on a worst case scenario kind of thing, if something bad can happen it will happen, this tends to stop me from doing things I would like to do.

Sometimes I feel depressed for no apparent reason, I mean everything is great, I have great friends, family and life in general. I just start to feel really sad, sometimes I connect it to the weather like in general I feel sad if it's dark and rainy for a few days straight. Now though as I wright this it's as nice as it can be except maby a little cold, but the sun is out and theres not a cloud in the sky. Sometimes I wonder if medicine is the answer but then I start feeling even more depressed that I need some artificial stimulant to make me feel happy which I feel that it should just come naturally.

One of the reasons I care so much about all my friends is that the one's that really know me well can read me, they can tell something is wrong with out me actually telling them this goes for my parents to. Though for some reason I feel that I shouldn't show to much emotion and that I should hide how I feel sometimes, I normally don't even tell my parents how I feel.

I'm glad I was introduced to LJ even though I don't update that often it's a good out for how I feel as I don't often express my feelings.

~nate

Well...

2005-02-16T01:38:37Z

*sigh* there are so many things I feel I have to get off my back, but I don't really have an escape, no one really to tell. I love you all no offence that I don't tell you but I feel that I need to figure things out for myself sometimes. Geeez why is life so confuzing, hah just kidding.

Well till next time.
~nate

Swimming and Stuff

2005-02-08T04:53:24Z

Well swim team is almost over just 2 more weeks, districts are this weekend they start friday and end saturday around noon. I have all the events that I wanted wich is trés cool and am looking foreward to being able to go home after school instead of the pool.

Other wise grades came in I got one A four B's and ..... 2 D's..... but ohwell now comes the part of trying to convince my dad to let me get my drivers lisence.

Sorry for the sparce updates.

Keep intouch.
~nate

Winter Break

2005-01-02T05:48:04Z

Well during winter break my teacher decided to assign us a big paper worth 20% of our semester grade. I am just now getting it done and im getting sick gahhhh I hope it goes away for 2morrow then comes back on monday so I dont have to go to school. Other than that I got some cool stuff for christmas. Juts though i'd update cuz it's been awhile.

Being lazy

2004-12-11T03:35:50Z

Sorry I haven't udated in a LONG time, I've been buisy. First off I joined swim team and its awsome it's one of the first team sports that I truly enjoy. We won our first meet my an insane amount of points and we got second on our second meet, we would of gotten first except the judge DQ'ed (disqualified) someone on something he sayed he woulden't, but hey life goes on. I lowered my my 100 meter freestyle time from 1:12 to 1:08 which is cool. On other news I'm looking forward to this weekend.

Oh and Ave could I get the LJ names of other DS'ers?

PS You people are cool :)

The apple is 17

2004-11-18T03:32:41Z

DUDE IM !& ... would you look at that I went and made 17 caps I was so excited wow. Here lets try that again DUDE IM 17 !!!!! yay. Well I went to Sushi Land with my parents. I got a XBox from my parets and a 20 dollar gift certificate for music. ROCK ON.

First post man.

2004-11-07T06:31:06Z

At first I was like I'm to lazy to have a journal, but after having nothing to do for days on end exept for homework I decided to make one, and with some help from a good friend I got this name BabaBouddhist which is french for Buddhist Hippie.

So whats going on with me eh, not much I've been playing GTA: San Andreas , awsome game by the way.

Oops, out of time till next time friends.

~nate